September....

The Indian Summer has disappeared... Autumn is here, what are your plans for September?
My main concern is sorting out the vegetable patch.  I bought my willow border from here, it is the cheapest I could find and the product seems to be the same everywhere.  By this time next year I shall have oodles for the harvest festival.  No more puppies for me, but lots of home renovation stuff to make the cottage cosy for Winter...

Mutant garlic...

Does anyone know anything about this garlic? I have never seen it before but I'm not much of a cook.  There are no cloves, it is just one giant ball of garlic.  Is it some genetically modified horror or a real vegetable that is a dream to use in the kitchen and tastes just like the regular stuff?

Heading back to Stepford...

I chat a lot to the ladies that I work out with about their motivations for dedicating themselves to a program, and for non-exercisers, however kind we try to be, it always starts with dedication before the enjoyment kicks in.
There is a common thread that runs through the ladies that have newly given up work and are approaching health and fitness as their new project.  But it is largely unspoken and only the brave who are prepared to be completely honest about why they have decided now to start working on their bodies.
There are always easy excuses about why they didn't before; no time, children, the commute etc, but that doesn't really answer the question 'Why have you started now'?
This morning one of my ladies was brave enough to voice the unspoken truth, and as we all took a deep intake of breath, in one statement, she threw us back to the 1950s as if feminism never happened.

This lady is an Oxford graduate, who had a very senior role in a male dominated company, she worked full-time even with 3 children under 7, but when the 4th arrived, it was too much and something had to give.  Ie she is not someone who would have taken what she said lightly and she knew full well the 'betrayal' that her words invoked.

So here it is, (paraphrased), 'When I worked, I was the boss, I earned more than most people that I knew and my role gave me power and prestige.  I didn't 'need' any body in the true sense, (other than perhaps my nanny!).  For the first time in my life I am not defined by doing something successful, be it in my education or my career. 

I feel vulnerable, I know that my husband has more backbone than to disappear with the first hot blonde that crosses his path.  But I need him for the survival of myself and my children and I feel it in a visceral way that is difficult to rationalise.  Aside from looking after him in a way that I never did when I was working, I feel that I need to look the best I can.  When he comes home, there is always something freshly cooked on the table and I brush my hair and put on some lip gloss.  And trust me, as I say it, I know how tragic that sounds.'

But here is the kicker, it is the opportunities that feminism gave us that means she feels this so keenly. Precisely because she broke the glass ceiling, she knows how difficult, demanding and relentless working to pay for the mortgage and support the family is, so ironically she is MORE grateful/vulnerable than the spouse who has never worked or just worked for self-fulfillment and shoe money.  I now fall firmly into the latter category, so what she said hit a chord with me.  I used to be net contributor to the household funds, now I'm a withdrawer.

So have we gone full circle, where we are choosing to become Stepford Wives again for survival?

Have you worked to keep food on the table and then scaled back or not worked at all? Did anything change with the two different lifestyles? Can we say that we believe in the ideals of feminism and behave like this?

Is this too controversial for a blog about exercise and clothes!?!  I would love to hear your thoughts...

Over 50 now....

 I did a few posts about the Spirit of Summer event that I exhibited at back in May.  Earlier this year I was contacted by a company running a show called Young at Heart which runs in October, if anyone is interested in tickets, you can currently get them free here, they are normally £10, so it is probably worth registering even if you aren't sure that you can make it.
The show its self looks very good with catwalk shows, health and beauty exhibitions, food, live entertainment and so (more information about the show here)

The whole process of taking a stand has been effortless and professional, but I think may be that I have one criticism of the clearly very young team who are organising the event. They seem to see over 50 as old, decrepit and, well, a bit past it, with the average lady's ultimate goal to have a partner who is still alive.

This just isn't how I see the over 50s, the fabulous Fabienne, below is 55 and I would say that most of the women that I know in their 50s, are closer to this than any of the imagery that the Young at Heart Show has chosen to reflect their event.  She is an interior designer, has a 12 year old son, loves fashion and goes clubbing.  I will never be as cool as her, but even so, I still aspire to this more than the Young at Heart images that are a little scary if this is all that is beckoning in the next few years.....

The ladies in their 50s now were probably the first generation to have worked a full career, avoided debt, bought property while it was cheap and ridden the growth, they are internet savvy and well travelled.  They have access to treatments, skincare and fitness programs that make them look a decade or more younger than they are.  It is probably the dream era in which to be 50 in that they can have more fun with more money than any previous or subsequent generations.
What is your take on what it is to be 50 now?

Success!

Remember AP? She wanted to go from a size 16 to a size 10, in the link she is a few months in and this Summer she reached her target.  She looks amazing and there is not a stretch mark in sight as she has been slow and consistent in her weight loss, focusing on maintaining her exercise routine rather than cutting back too dramatically on calories.  Her diet has changed from small sweet treat based meals to larger protein packed offerings.  So she has not felt deprived or hungry despite the quite dramatic transformation...

Lunch at Bistrot 51

Today I had a lunch meeting, not long ago I used to dread trying to fit a restaurant lunch into the working day.  Now the rarity (and time to think about locations, outfits and the trip to London) make it an absolute pleasure.  My lunch partner was in my old office mode of power suits, so anything too relaxed wouldn't have been right.  I wore this PU jacket from TK Maxx, only £24.99, but I'm not sure, I wasn't really hot but it sort of stuck to me all day and I was quite pleased to get it off when I got home.

 Coast skirt with a kick at the back, the pics are awful, but these skirts are a stretchy duchesse satin so they cling without getting wrinkly (I have them in a number of colours!)...

 And my new Rene Caovilla shoes, they have leather inners on the heel and the back of the shoe and are then lace trapped in plastic, they were an Ebay find in America and cost about £30 including postage rather than £600!

Every where I tried to book was full, recession, what recession?

Bistro 51 is just by Buckingham Palace...there is only one reason to go....

Their amazing 'Re-invented Fondue'.  The jug contains piping hot chocolate sauce that you poor over the chocolate ball, the ball melts and inside you find mini puddings, brownies, profiteroles and other mini puds to dip into the sauce, pure Willie Wonker magic!

What do you think of PU, shall I Ebay the jacket or wear something under it?
Do you have any memorable puds that are dinner party stealable?

The trials and tribulations of Miss B

 I really, really would like a slice of that home made ginger bread, may be if I just stare at it long enough, it will it to be mine. 

 Err...that doesn't work, I must hatch a cunning plan, if a cat can pass through any space the size of its own head, may be dogs can too...

 RESULT....oh no, where's it gone?....Foiled again....

Cleaning....

I have to admit that the combination of hot weather, loads of people visiting and school holidays has slightly thrown my...err... cleaning rota.  To be totally honest, cleaning is rarely top of my agenda, in fact I loathe it, I think may be it's because I wait until we are drowning in chaos and go on a 16 hour binge, and like anything in life, the little and often approach is more manageable and long term.

Today though, was very different, I started the purge at 8am and kept going non-stop until 5.30.  And I enjoyed every minute.  Probably because I have been on my own all day, so what I finished, stayed done rather than the Sisyphus-like ever repeating chores.

I'm going to try to this....

Since I don't have some of these things/places, it means I get some days off so I think I can manage it.

Going forward, I'm going to follow this guide....

 ...I know it is pathetic to need this, but I worked in an office for 20 years and paid someone else to do the above.  And I'm by no means belittling it, being good at cleaning is a skill which is much more useful in real life than what I did for a living. 

This is my commitment to become a domestic goddess!

My first animation....

Very basic, but even Disney started somewhere!

How not to get old...

Has any one been watching How Not to Get Old on Channel 4?
I caught the second half, and was surprised at how uncomfortable it made me feel.  I am thinking about what I could do to try to stave off the dreaded wrinkles and I am probably at the stage where if I don't start now, it will be a full face lift at 50 or nothing (see deep laughter lines around my eyes and mouth).

I found the program a little disturbing and probably disappointing too, I was particularly interested in the injectibles section..  But the scary group of twenty year olds who were having Botox, were a cautionary tale, they looked wax works, formed in their mid forties in a strange frozen limbo.  They had the vacant, emotionless look that I associate with the Eastern European call girls who look like they have lived a million lives and have seen God knows what.  It is neither natural, youthful nor attractive, but slightly unnerving and grotesque, in the traditional sense of the word.
Is something that is alien and unnatural, ultimately always ugly?  I see people who have had work look stunning, absolutely beautiful, and then they go one step further and that one thing becomes the marker that points to all of the other 'tweaks' that they have done....

I'm not poking fun at this selection of pictures, I just feel terribly sorry for all of them.  They were all attractive women, who were looking for that extra bit of confidence through a surgery that was costly and painful and they end up looking  ugly and distorted.  Whoever did this to them should not be allowed to practice as a doctor.

I've never been into spa treatments and beauty therapy, but looking at this, it has to be preferable to spend a few hours a week being pampered, talking to some one who you trust, who helps you to accentuate your best features and makes you feel good about yourself.  May be anyone considering surgery should be obliged to spend 6 months going to to a local beauty parlour to see if their perceived shortcoming is really worth the pain and cost of surgery.

Ultimately do you want to look young or feel young? I only look in a mirror a couple of times a day and most of the time have no idea how old I really look.  These are my tips for keeping vigorous...

1. Barleygrass every day, if I don't have it, I crave it, and when I do have it I feel spritely and fill of energy.

2. A multi vitamin if I have done loads of exercise.

3. Aerobic, red-face-sweat-making, gulp-back-water-needing, heart-beating-until-exploding exercise, at least twice a week.

4. Stretch or yoga with a blissed out relaxation at the end.

5. Weight training to keep muscles in good shape.

6. Fake tan and factor 30 (when I remember, which if I am totally honest is only when the sand is so hot that you can't walk on it)

7. Factor 30 on the face in the UK...I MUST start to do this.

8. Eat farm fresh vegetables and local meat (doing quite well with this one, and about to start my kitchen garden)

9. Avoid all unnatural/ unnecessary chemicals in food and cosmetics etc ( pretty good with this except for deodorant for which I just can't find a natural alternative that works)

10. DEPORTMENT stand up straight, shoulder blades back and down, takes off 5 years and 10 pounds!

Most importantly...

SMILE, laugh and feel positive about life and count my blessings, not my shortcomings. 

What are your top tips for How Not to Get Old? I would love to hear from anyone who uses Caci or those muscle exercising facial units, I know that it is the polar opposite of Botox, but I spend hours making sure the rest of my muscles don't whither away so Botox is a little alien to me.

Nights out...Nights in...

 Unusually we went out twice in one week and both experiences have made me rethink what constitutes a good night out.  Of course good company and booze come top of the list, but after that, what separates a good night out from a really memorable one?

The first night out was with a friend who has lost a great deal of weight and has shrunk from a 16+ and is now in a Karen Millen size 10 dress.  For her, the priority was to get really dressed up in her new wardrobe of clothes that she has dreamed of for the last decade.  They had a big night out in London and were due to spend a fortune, so wanted our night to be a chance to dress up but not too expensive.  I thought a local brasserie would do the trick and promised that I would wear something clingy (Herve Leger dress and very light suede jacket) so that she wasn't the only WAG there.

We started with a bottle of champagne at home and then hit the road, the problem was that the restaurant was really average serving expensive pizzas and lacklustre meat and fish dishes. You just knew that there was no chef cooking and most of the food was the boil in the bag variety that could be prepared by anyone with 10 minutes training.  The bill was £140 for the four of us after wine, drinks, coffee, service etc, and what was meant to be an inexpensive night out was just a fairly pricey mediocrity. 

A couple of days later we went to some friends who live nearby, with 3 children under 5, and just having moved into their new house, we got a hurried phone call saying only,  'Kids sleeping, barbeque on, come now and take us as you find us'.  We drank until 2am, ate mountains of burgers and kebabs and polished it all off with pavlova and hot chocolate.  Our contribution was a couple of bottles of wine and the pavlova, the beef was from a local farm as were the strawberries.  Both the hostess and I were dressed in the local 'evening out' look,me, skinny jeans (Next), sparkly top(Temperley)  and cardigan.  Her jeans Jbrand, tunic top Tory Burch (we both thank live 5 miles from Bicester Village so outfit choices are not as extravagant as they might sound).
We had such a great evening that it made me question why we ever bother with those 'middle of the range' restaurants, with food that you could do yourself for a fraction of the price.

 Going forward, I am planning to reserve 'nights out' for only really special destinations with great quality food and an ambiance that suggests an 'event' rather than a school dining hall.

Now that most of our friends have teenage offspring, rather than babysitter-needing little ones, all other nights with friends will be home based and here are some of the ideas/my checklist that I was hoping will make this possible....



1. Make sure everyone in the house puts away everything that they have used during the day before they go to bed.

2. No more piles of ironing, wash and put away and iron at wear.

How my sofas look most of the time

If the house is tidy-ish and the table clear, 50% of my effort/resistance is removed from entertaining at home.


3. Always have a bottle of fizz in the fridge and some nibble-y bits in the larder. I must stop eating and drinking everything in sight.

 4. I need to learn to cook/precook/ get utensils for some signature dishes that look like restaurant food

Love these salads in jar idea, just add dressing and shake and great for lunch the next day...

 A hearty creamy homemade soup that can be kept warm and served whenever...

 Premake and freeze lobster cakes can cook loads at the same time and ready in minutes...

 Massive plate of anti pasti always looks inviting...

 Luxury foods to have with champagne....

Throw in some luxury components to simple foods, like truffle oil pop corn, caviar and smoked salmon or lobster crab cakes to raise the food above the average run of the mill home cooking.
5. Allow guests to bring something, when they offer, they genuinely want to help, so rather than saying no, I will let them do cheese or pud.

6. Work out how the chocolate fountain works (has been in the attic for years)
7. Interesting lighting makes any evening special, people rarely eat by candle light or fairy lights so I will  make it memorable and it costs little, the 8 year old in all of us still loves tea light candles and fairy lights.
I bought these on ebay for the garden and they are brilliant and solar powered

What makes a really good night out for you? Are you shy about having people into your home or do you find it easy? What are your top recipe tips for stress free entertaining?